[TURKEY RUN :: SERB FEST - Online] Fire & Ice Extravaganza

Turkey Run has long been driven by TRADITION. For Serb Fest’s First Generation, coming to Turkey Run meant fantastic canoeing and hiking and an opportunity for old friends and family to gather around a grill for good food, good conversation, and of course, good holy water. While Serb Fest's First Generation laid the foundation for what TR has become today, the Second Generation has introduced new traditions giving their incarnation of Serb Fest its own identity.

So many outstanding comments have been spoken by TR attendees over the years. Luckily, we've been archiving these hilarious quotes since 2003! Ill be the first to admit that on many of these, you either had to be there, or at least need to know the personality of the person responsible for the quote. But there are plenty that stand on their own as genius and downright hysterical for anyone listening or reading! The only question is - WHICH IS THE BEST?! We'll let you be the judge!

2015

"My favorite part of Turkey Run is the grilling" - Carter
"Oh yeah? You know, Uncle Rishi will be there when we get there and he's great at grilling. Do you want to help him with grilling at TR?" - Julie B
"No, it's okay, Uncle Rishi can do all the grilling!" - Carter

"You just set it up like this and put it through the holes...." - Deb (in reference to croquet)

"Do you realize I'm the oldest Mother F'er here now?" - Crazy Dan (10x over)

"I bought a tank top for this weekend. Not as a joke, but because I felt I needed it in my wardrobe" - Scott

"Grant, just remember, sometimes bad decisions can lead to good stories!" - Rishi

"I'm slightly hung over and I blame it on the Kirkland Light. You can't drink that and Stroh's all night and not expect to feel it in the morning - Scott

"Ethan, Sarah's raising you now... She will answer any questions you have! - Jeff H

"Hey Erin, Jack just pushed Eloise and she didn't like it, so she just kicked him in the balls!" - Julie L

2014

"I don't know if the Lochness Monster is real, but what I DO know is that the story is real....- WT man on Suspension Bridge

"I'm judging you.... Positively!" - Scott

"Look at Rishi working that grill! He's really taken the place of my old man, Boris.... And that's tits!" - Crazy Dan

"Okay.... Have you ever done Crank?" - Crazy Dan

Beers, dogs, babys and bitches.... They all smell fear! - Unknown

Am I an unpainted canvas, or what? - Unknown (Crazy Dan?)

I've never been so offended by a single person... and I used to sell sex toys! - Ask

"Hydrate." - Jeff H

"If you took a manakin, shaved it's ass and taught it to walk backwards... That's me." - Jeff

2013

"Equipment Failure? I have that problem when I drink too much!" - Rishi

"Dan, where'd you get this bread?" - CR
"Lalich" - Crazy Dan
"What? They said they didn't have any!" - CR
"Yeah! I bought 'em out!" - Crazy Dan

"That was a rough evening!" - Crazy Dan
"That was a rough evening for your sister too..." - BS
"Why?! What'd I do to her??" - Crazy Dan

"I feel partially like an irresponsible father, but mainly lke a happy one!" - Nutz

2012

"I like the taste of your lip balm!" - Crazy Dan to Big Shit (after literally locking lips)

"If you like any of the meat products on the table, you'll like my meat product " - Crazy Dan

"Don't drink the water in Sugar Creek.... I pissed in it!" - Crazy Dan

2011

"John, its as if you just peed there" - Brian Kelley (In reference to John hanging the Serbian Flag)

"So your sack no longer looks like the bottom of a shrimping boat?" - Feces Mike (to Crazy Dan)

"Paloma? That's a classy name for a trashy drink..." - Scott Berger

"If I were a stripper, my name would be CocoNutz" - Amy Heitzman

"C'mon kids, watch me pitch a tent..." - Feces Mike

"Oh my God, we're running late [for the Wife Beater Photo]... They're gonna kill us!" - Feces Mike
"Eh... if they're pissed just tell them we had sex and I bought you ice cream" - Crazy Dan

"You are such a disappointment" - Amy Heitzman
"Wow! I've never heard that first thing in the morning!" - Crazy Dan

"...and they erased the pictures!" - Crazy Dan
"So you say aliens took your phone?" - Distant Voice
"No man, Austrians, but I'm pretty sure they were aliens too!" - Crazy Dan

2010

"Let's get shitty!" - Mike Z

"This place beats Martha's Vinyard any day!" - Katherine Boskovic

"AHHHAHAHA" - Dan Boskovic

The Quote of Quotes :: The scene is Friday night a little after dusk. Most of us were huddled around the tables and grill around our usual picnic area. The ranger's truck rolled by slowly as is usual for this time of night. He came out and walked slowly over to the group asking how we were doing / where we are staying / etc... basically trying to get us to clean up and head out for the night. This would have been particularly problematic since we had just fired up the grill and were ready for a long opening night of catching up. We responded back saying that we were staying at the Inn. This was apparently the right answer since he said he would have to kick us out otherwise.

At this point the tide turned. Someone, I believe Monica (check my facts), said that we had been coming here for years and knew the drill. The ranger said "yeah, I've heard that one before". Then he paused almost as if thinking to himself and said, "Hey, wait a second. Are you part of that big group?" At this point I jump in and say something to the extent of "Maybe." You have to realize that, at this point, we had no reason to think we were the "big group". He asked the name of our group. I hesitated for a second and said "Zelenkovich?" He responded with "Hmm, yeah. That might be right." I tried again with "Boskovic". The ranger lit up and said "Yeah! That's the group." Needless to say, from the point on, he lit up and was a much happier camper! The ranger then said that Dan had called the Inn earlier that week to reserve rooms for 2012. The night Dan called, he had a few to drink and was making Dan-like banter with the Inn receptionist, a guy named Trevvor (with two "V"s). Dan asked for a discounted rate on account of our coming to TR for "30 years". Trevvor said he'd look into it. Then Dan said we were a big deal and mentioned the website. Said "you got a computer? punch it in. www.turkeyrunonline.com". Trevvor did, and was immediately dumbstruck. Apparently this was such a big deal that Trevvor showed his coworkers the website the following day, which included the park ranger. The rest is history.

One quick potential hiccup during this whole thing, the ranger said "my favorite thing on the website was the part about the white trash." This is the point where things could have taken a turn for the worse (did the ranger think we were saying all Indiana locals were WT?). So there I was, working the grill while wearing my beater and said "yeah, seems like you get all kinds of people crawl out of the woodwork during race weekend." Apparently this was again the right answer because the ranger just laughed, agreed and left us to grill for the rest of the night. We of course offered him any cevapcici throughout the rest of the weekend. Sadly, he never accepted. He did, however, give us some inside intel that the main shelter wasn't reserved the next night and we could probably get it if we showed up early.

2009

(Julie carries 2 large bags of ice out of the liquor store)
"Man, she's awfully strong!" - Store Check-out Clerk
"Hell Yeah! And she's pregnant!" - Scott Berger

"We bought so much beer, the lady gave us 'road sodies'!" - Rishi Loona

"Dan wakes up Rated R and goes to bed Rated X" - Brian Kelley

"Dress up in black latex and whack him good!" - Crazy Dan

"You can't get pregnant when you're pregnant!" - Julie Berger

"Rishi and BS are 2 peas in an idiot pod!" - Jovan

2008

"A little rain just means a jucier cevap!" - Jovan

"Commies took 2 of the 3 butcher shops... They couldn't take them all!" - Jovan

"All breast, no bone!" - Scott Berger

"I do wear the pants!... She just puts them on me..." - Crazy Dan

"Stroh's is the perfect Summer beer! Stroh's is Shorts spelled backwards!" - Feces Mike

2007

"So f*cking tasty!" - Scott Berger

"Can you fill the bun?!"- Crazy Dan

"The world is my toilet!"- Scott Berger

"Lady, the creek is 3 1/2 ft deep... we're 6 ft tall.... we're not gonna drown!" - OLAF

"I should put some clothes on" - Jovan ......... "Why?" - Cika Bora

"I'm 'unna smack you in the brain!" - 3 yr old hick

2006

"The Chinaman isn't the issue!"- Jovan

"Smoking will turn your lungs black" - Nick [response] "Don't smoke pole kid"- Brian Kelley

"We've got the hicks licked on this one!" - Crazy Dan

"Hit that thing... hit it hard!" - Dan F

2005

"Rick James, b*tch!" - Dave R (heard all weekend long)

"Scott, I'm depressed... I have nothing to live for 361 days of the year" - Dan F (post TR 05)

2004

[In response to the cevapcici order] "Is this for a church function or something?" - DSD

"Did we just buy a cooler full of tomatoes?" - Jovan Zelenkovich

"Jovan, we forgot all the tomatoes in your refridgerator!" - Scott Berger

[In response to the 2nd tomato purchase] "Is this for a church function or something?" - Tomato Cashier

"If it doesn't fit, I'll just stick my nose in it" - Vince Kus

"I'll make him give her a dead horse... That's my quote." - Vince Kus

"Okay Giggles (I'm REALLY sorry)" - Scott Berger

"Oh My God!! This cevapcici looks so good I'm gonna cry!" - Unknown (Can anyone own up to this?)

2003

I don't know what you guys are talking about... they all sound good to me. - Nutz

The only kind of hangover at TR comes from eating too much and having to loosen your belt. - Unknown

"How 'bout the other two thirds of the case I already finished?" - OLAF [In reference to cracking yet another can of Miller High Life]